The video I posted a link to right there is a Rob Bell video called Rain. It's a little over 10 minutes long, but I strongly encourage you to watch it because I think it's really powerful...and that's what this post is going to be about.
[And before you go on reading...let me just say..this post might feel a little heavier than my other ones but I just want to reassure you, I can't remember the last time I have felt this much joy and peace and thankfulness!]
I think sometimes when I feel like I am in the middle of a "storm," I subconsciously gain this false impression of God. I begin to think, "Right now this time in my life feels tough. So I think God is tough." I (again, subconsciously) picture Him in heaven, sitting on His throne with His arms crossed just watching me cry out, but not actually listening. I begin to doubt the validity of the verses that say something like "If you cry out to me, I will hear you." I gain the mentality that I have to do things all on my own because God is the one causing the "storm." He is completely unmoved and unaffected by how I am feeling or what I am going through.
After watching this video though...It allowed me to see two things: 1) That I subconsciously gain a mentality at times that God doesn't care or doesn't want to help. I don't think I realized I had thought that way before until this mentality was so proven wrong in what Rob said. and 2) I was so reminded of just how much He does care. Just how much He does love me. I loved what Rob said about it being interesting to think of the storm from Trace's perspective. The storm was all he could see, it was all he knew. He was not thinking about how they could get home or the journey of getting there. He wasn't even thinking about how his dad was carrying him. All he knew was that it was pouring on him and he didn't like it. The wind, thunder, and lightning were scary. All he could see was where he was at that moment and that was...in a storm. All the while, his dad (Rob) was carrying him home. He knew the way home...so true. That brings me so much peace.
I have really been into blogging since I was about 12 or 13. This blog site is new but before this I had myspace which I made posts on and before myspace..xanga. I've always enjoyed writing but really really enjoy looking at other people's sites. There are a few blogging sites on xanga with photography and graphics that I really like looking at. This one girl's in particular that I was looking at today...really drew me in. I looked at for probably an hour. Not because I necessarily liked her photography or graphics at all but...her site represented so much hurt and insecurity in the world to me. She had a few pictures on there representing the things girls resort to as a result of being insecure. She had quotes on there about no one loving her. Broken hearts. Disappointing people and people disappointing her. And then she had pictures of scales, measuring tapes, girls by toilets...It completely broke my heart and tore me apart.
It broke my heart to see some girl I don't even know just struggling in life and feeling so much hurt and pain and insecurity. I looked at this girl's site only minutes after watching the Rob Bell video...and it made me realize in such a powerful way...how sad God must be to watch us struggle. To watch us go through "storms," to see us crying. Because we're not just some random girl on xanga...I am His baby. After watching that video, and looking at this girl's site...I could feel God clutching me so tightly against His chest. I am His baby, and He is my dad...carrying me.
"...There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way until you reached this place." - Deuteronomy 1:31
I am so amazed at His love for me! So amazed, so thankful. And that video today reminded me of how He truly does carry me. He turns around, puts my hood over my head, even when I might take it off, and walks me through the storm...both when I realize that He's there, and when I don't realize it.
I think sometimes when I feel like I am in the middle of a "storm," I subconsciously gain this false impression of God. I begin to think, "Right now this time in my life feels tough. So I think God is tough." I (again, subconsciously) picture Him in heaven, sitting on His throne with His arms crossed just watching me cry out, but not actually listening. I begin to doubt the validity of the verses that say something like "If you cry out to me, I will hear you." I gain the mentality that I have to do things all on my own because God is the one causing the "storm." He is completely unmoved and unaffected by how I am feeling or what I am going through.
After watching this video though...It allowed me to see two things: 1) That I subconsciously gain a mentality at times that God doesn't care or doesn't want to help. I don't think I realized I had thought that way before until this mentality was so proven wrong in what Rob said. and 2) I was so reminded of just how much He does care. Just how much He does love me. I loved what Rob said about it being interesting to think of the storm from Trace's perspective. The storm was all he could see, it was all he knew. He was not thinking about how they could get home or the journey of getting there. He wasn't even thinking about how his dad was carrying him. All he knew was that it was pouring on him and he didn't like it. The wind, thunder, and lightning were scary. All he could see was where he was at that moment and that was...in a storm. All the while, his dad (Rob) was carrying him home. He knew the way home...so true. That brings me so much peace.
I have really been into blogging since I was about 12 or 13. This blog site is new but before this I had myspace which I made posts on and before myspace..xanga. I've always enjoyed writing but really really enjoy looking at other people's sites. There are a few blogging sites on xanga with photography and graphics that I really like looking at. This one girl's in particular that I was looking at today...really drew me in. I looked at for probably an hour. Not because I necessarily liked her photography or graphics at all but...her site represented so much hurt and insecurity in the world to me. She had a few pictures on there representing the things girls resort to as a result of being insecure. She had quotes on there about no one loving her. Broken hearts. Disappointing people and people disappointing her. And then she had pictures of scales, measuring tapes, girls by toilets...It completely broke my heart and tore me apart.
It broke my heart to see some girl I don't even know just struggling in life and feeling so much hurt and pain and insecurity. I looked at this girl's site only minutes after watching the Rob Bell video...and it made me realize in such a powerful way...how sad God must be to watch us struggle. To watch us go through "storms," to see us crying. Because we're not just some random girl on xanga...I am His baby. After watching that video, and looking at this girl's site...I could feel God clutching me so tightly against His chest. I am His baby, and He is my dad...carrying me.
"...There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way until you reached this place." - Deuteronomy 1:31
I am so amazed at His love for me! So amazed, so thankful. And that video today reminded me of how He truly does carry me. He turns around, puts my hood over my head, even when I might take it off, and walks me through the storm...both when I realize that He's there, and when I don't realize it.
2 comments:
Lauren, your thoughts are beautiful. I'm so glad for where you're at, and the things you learned, and re-learned. I'm about to watch the video...
Thanks for writing :)
Lauren, I don't know what to say. Amazing stuff.
As Josh said before me: Beautiful.
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