"...While I am unaware"

Rain

The video I posted a link to right there is a Rob Bell video called Rain. It's a little over 10 minutes long, but I strongly encourage you to watch it because I think it's really powerful...and that's what this post is going to be about.

[And before you go on reading...let me just say..this post might feel a little heavier than my other ones but I just want to reassure you, I can't remember the last time I have felt this much joy and peace and thankfulness!]

I think sometimes when I feel like I am in the middle of a "storm," I subconsciously gain this false impression of God. I begin to think, "Right now this time in my life feels tough. So I think God is tough." I (again, subconsciously) picture Him in heaven, sitting on His throne with His arms crossed just watching me cry out, but not actually listening. I begin to doubt the validity of the verses that say something like "If you cry out to me, I will hear you." I gain the mentality that I have to do things all on my own because God is the one causing the "storm." He is completely unmoved and unaffected by how I am feeling or what I am going through.

After watching this video though...It allowed me to see two things: 1) That I subconsciously gain a mentality at times that God doesn't care or doesn't want to help. I don't think I realized I had thought that way before until this mentality was so proven wrong in what Rob said. and 2) I was so reminded of just how much He does care. Just how much He does love me. I loved what Rob said about it being interesting to think of the storm from Trace's perspective. The storm was all he could see, it was all he knew. He was not thinking about how they could get home or the journey of getting there. He wasn't even thinking about how his dad was carrying him. All he knew was that it was pouring on him and he didn't like it. The wind, thunder, and lightning were scary. All he could see was where he was at that moment and that was...in a storm. All the while, his dad (Rob) was carrying him home. He knew the way home...so true. That brings me so much peace.

I have really been into blogging since I was about 12 or 13. This blog site is new but before this I had myspace which I made posts on and before myspace..xanga. I've always enjoyed writing but really really enjoy looking at other people's sites. There are a few blogging sites on xanga with photography and graphics that I really like looking at. This one girl's in particular that I was looking at today...really drew me in. I looked at for probably an hour. Not because I necessarily liked her photography or graphics at all but...her site represented so much hurt and insecurity in the world to me. She had a few pictures on there representing the things girls resort to as a result of being insecure. She had quotes on there about no one loving her. Broken hearts. Disappointing people and people disappointing her. And then she had pictures of scales, measuring tapes, girls by toilets...It completely broke my heart and tore me apart.

It broke my heart to see some girl I don't even know just struggling in life and feeling so much hurt and pain and insecurity. I looked at this girl's site only minutes after watching the Rob Bell video...and it made me realize in such a powerful way...how sad God must be to watch us struggle. To watch us go through "storms," to see us crying. Because we're not just some random girl on xanga...I am His baby. After watching that video, and looking at this girl's site...I could feel God clutching me so tightly against His chest. I am His baby, and He is my dad...carrying me.

"...There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way until you reached this place." - Deuteronomy 1:31

I am so amazed at His love for me! So amazed, so thankful. And that video today reminded me of how He truly does carry me. He turns around, puts my hood over my head, even when I might take it off, and walks me through the storm...both when I realize that He's there, and when I don't realize it.

What is the "power of peace"?

Around my junior year in high school, I started looking for a peace sign necklace. I wanted one so badly. Peace sign necklaces aren't hard to find because, obviously, peace is so popular these days. But I didn't want just ANY peace sign necklace, I had this exact, specific one in my mind that I wanted. A few months ago, my mom found one and out of no where, bought it for me and gave it to me as a surprise! It was so great. I love it and wear it all the time. I love that necklace, or like the peace sign in general a) because it's trendy right now, I guess and b) peace is just so vital in my everyday life. I love looking at that necklace and being reminded of that.

Earlier this semester we had this project in humanities where we were supposed to construct a 3D or 2D object. A collage, a poster board, whatever...it just had to represent who we were and what we stood for. If I'm remembering correctly, every girl in my class had at LEAST one picture or object on her board of peace or something of that nature. I'm sure you haven't failed to notice that over the past 3 or 4 or 5 years now, people are obsessed with peace! Especially young people. Girls in my class giving their presentations were saying "I love peace, I'm all about peace. I'm kind of a hippie." Hippies are no longer a thing of the 70's. But when we think hippie, other things come to our mind other than peace and love. There is a stigma of drug abuse attached to the hippies, specifically the use and abuse of marijuana. So when and how did peace and love and hippies all of the sudden become a trend or fashion statement!? I am so baffled by this.

I think I am especially baffled by this for two reasons: 1) I myself have a peace sign necklace! I like it! and 2) You would think with everyone being obsessed with this idea of free love and peace....our individual lives would reflect that, or this generation as a whole would reflect young people living peaceful and loving lives. And for some reason, I don't really think that's what this generation is known for.

Not necessarily this generation specifically, but I think America as a whole is known for being busy. Workaholics. Soccer moms of one too many soccer players. Not sleeping enough because of stress. This generation specifically (or more, high school and junior high girls because that's typically where this love of peace and love is coming from) have a stigma attached to them of being gossipy, or back-biting, or just..far from being known as peace makers. Speaking for myself as a fan of the peace sign, my life right now I think looks far from peaceful or restful!

I just find this whole "love is the movement," and "the power of peace" revolution to be a bit ironic because you'd think with how much of a trend it's become, people's lives would just be EXPLODING with peace and love. And not that in order to be a fan of peace and love you have to EXEMPLIFY both of those qualities perfectly all the time, but 

I mean...the hippies were a fan of peace because they were opposing the war that was going on. I don't think that's where this fashion statement is coming from today.

So why peace? Why aren't people saying they love patience or selflessness...? Obviously, I have a peace sign necklace and peace background on my phone...so I'm far from hating on this movement. Just so intrigued by it!